The time spent atop the wall of sleep, not quite awake, not quite asleep, is the most dangerous time of all. All the thoughts that your conscious mind has kept at bay all day see their opportunity to break through, to reveal themselves and let you glimpse them as you slowly sink into the subconscious. The thoughts, visions, and memories that are within us, but not revealed to us, lurk and make their presence known, like wolves heard, sensed, but not seen, circling just outside the light that the campfire of our conscious mind throws into the dark night of our existence.
The pain, the guilt over the shadowy events and memories that you, through either action or inaction, created or allowed to come into existence is the last thing you feel before the veil of nightmares separates you from the safety of the rational and the present. Guilt and anger is the last thing you feel before the shadowlands pull you in. It’s no wonder that the pain does not fade. It is nourished, cultivated every night, and reborn with you every morning. The light of the day chases the pain to the back of your mind, where it sits and waits for its opportunities to make itself known. Like a guerrilla warrior, a terrorist, it looks for weak points and places where it can do it’s greatest harm. It is an enemy not quite understood. An enemy not fully known cannot be defeated without destroying the whole world around it.